Early one morning, the Nose was in a very bad mood and phoned her close friends the Ear and the Mouth and said "I need to talk to you both as I have had enough. I am setting up a Zoom conference that starts in 30 minutes, so grab a cup of coffee and be there as "This is very URGENT" and needs to be resolved Straightaway. And by the Way I am inviting "Eyes" too to give me a birds eye view of the situation". See you all there soon
Ear just listened in silence not knowing what Nose's problem was and Mouth was agape with open jaws not knowing what to expect at this emergency meeting. "Not another Zoom meeting Mouth mumbled".
The Zoom Conference started and the Nose took the Lead. Ear told Nose "I will give you a patient hearing" and Mouth said "I won't interrupt, I will keep my mouth shut, so go ahead Nose and tell us what is bothering you".
The Nose started "I am fed up with my owner. I grow hair inside the nostrils to filter the air that passes through me to the lungs and now my owner is forever digging her nose especially when she is driving and at the traffic lights and she even plucks the hair with two fingers. Two fingers up my nose, thats a bit too much dont you think ?. Damn that hurts and when the hair is plucked Ouch it hurts a lot more and I bleed sometimes and other times to stop more plucking I let out many big sneezes. When the lady reaches home it gets worse, she pulls out her tweezers and stands in front of the bath room mirror examining my insides and starts plucking. This makes me soooo Angry. I have no privacy left any more".
Not just that I have been part of this woman for 45 years and one day suddenly she decides to get her nose pierced.
It was so so painful and for weeks I was doing everything possible to heal the wound caused by piercing but cannot. You know why, a yellow metal tube has come through this and bolted from the inside and now I have to live with this stupid metal nut inside my nose. Unfortunately I cannot see what is on the inside or outside.
Ear asked if she could speak. "You three will not know that I was just a one year old baby and my parents allowed this bad man to pierce both ears and I have lived with this nightmare all my life.
Having said that to make you feel better Nose, I have been putting up with a lot these days not knowing who to turn to. Life was fun as I was growing up listening to the birds and the bees and my pet parrot and dog and cat. We all talked joked laughed and played and listened to music being played on the radio.
My life today is a Nightmare. The minute the lady wakes up she presses the mobile phone against me and starts talking.
I find it so loud I turn the Volume down and the lady turns the mobile phone volume up immediately. I don't know how to escape. So I tickle myself and guess what she shifts the phone to the other side. I am fed up with this non stop high pitched giggling and yapping. There is a limit to how much gossip I can take in each and every day.
Now a while ago there was a scare that mobile phones cause brain tumours so the lady was not on the phone as much.
My Bad luck some idiot has discovered what they call "Blue Tooth" and now they shove into me, this odd shaped humongous blob of plastic they call Ear Budds.
Budds my foot. Not my Buddies I tell you"
That is it, I feel suffocated and cannot get any fresh air into my ears anymore as these stupid things are there for ever stuck in my ears even when she is sleeping. The only relief I get is when she has a shower or goes swimming but Covid has killed swimming too these days.
That is not the end of my story every year my owner gets two pairs of spects from the Spects savers two for the price of one. She now has a bagful of these spects she hardly uses them to see but sits perched on her head.
May be she has another pair of eyes on top of her head God Only knows because I have no eyes to see. Some of my friends think it is the "Third Eye". But I always thought the Third eye was just one eye and not a pair. I'll be damned if I know.
Guess where all these spects or glasses are anchored ? The Damn Ear of course.
If this was not bad enough now they wear Covid Masks and yes it covers you Nose and You Mouth but the bloody thing is strapped on to the ear again
So Nose why are you Complaining ? what you are experiencing is nothing compared to the problems I face. I get treated like a Bloody Mule with so many things hanging on me or strapped to me
Mouth raised hands and started to chuckle making the Nose and Ears angry.
"What are you chuckling about they asked ?"
From the minute the lady wakes up and until she falls asleep she is either talking or eating and I am working non stop and my jaws hurt like mad. Jaw pain won't make her stop talking. So I play all sorts of tricks on her. I purposely bite my good friend the Tongue or my friendly Cheeks on either side and this definitely reduces the talking and eating for a while but not for long. I have heard her talk about peircing ghe tongue and I choked and she fainted and never talked about it again.
I am Fed up with life too. I am either chewimg cud all day like a cow or chewing other people.
It was time for the Eye to Speak.
Ear, Nose and Mouth, you probable assume I being the eye can see all of this but unfortunately where I am located I cannot see inside the nose, ears or mouth I can only see what is ahead of me. I can barely see the nose Ring when I close one eye but cannot see what is hanging from the ears does not matter how hard I try
But tell you what have seen women in other parts of the world with Nose, Ears, Lips and Tongue pierced. Some of them pull the ear lobes down and touches the shoulder too, swinging like a pendulum with some jewellery hanging like a flower basket
Eye says "let me show you what I see so you can all understand better and the slide show starts and Nose, Ears and Mouth sit there thunderstruck.
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Ear and Mouth were disgusted with what they saw and quit the zoom session even without a "Good Bye" as they were shocked to see images they had never seen before.
The Nose said to the Eyes "Thank you for the enlightenment and making me realise that other noses are suffering much more than I am. I am blessed I just have one small stud poking me".
Nose said "Bye until the next Zoom session" and closed the Zoom Meeting
Moral of the lesson is every one believes that there problems are the worst and every other person is better off. Not True if you Open your Eyes and look beyond what you get to see
What made me write this silly piece today? .
I could not watch Rishab Pants dashing century last night as the boss was multitasking in the family room aka TV room watching Netflix and yapping on the phone and every second whatsapp message today asked me if I watched Pants Batting
Now Australia is 86 for 6 and who wants to watch pommy tail enders bat ??
Rambo
